Pandeera

(Edited)

Hey there, I’m Nina (Pandeera) and this is my first time writing a post about anime and manga! I did some posts for my personal blog a while back (the blog is now under construction) but I haven’t written anything like this before. I’ll do my best not to screw this up too badly but I can’t promise anything.

On my personal blog I wrote about the usual stuff (such as fashion, food and some things like that) and even though that is a lot of fun as well I feel like it’s so much happier to write about something like anime or manga. There are way more people who are interested in lifestyle blogs than in anime but that’s what makes it kinda fun. I’m more of a casual when it comes to anime and manga. Surely, I’ve watched quite a lot of different anime and even read some manga (and manhwa lately) but by no means should I be considered an expert. There’s a lot of genres out there and sometimes, I’m just not interested in the characters or the plot of a story even if most people think that it’s good. That being said, I don’t get to decide what anime is good/bad but I can share my personal opinions and feelings about them. I wanted to make clear that I don’t claim to be a know-it-all anime expert but I like discussing anime and manga with Patsie or my brother, so writing about certain shows and topics could be a lot of fun.

Like Patsie, I also illustrate and paint as a freelancer in my spare time. When I read manga or watch anime I’m very interested in the art style and character designs. That’s what I focus on and I’m starting to get into character design myself. Other than that, I’m doing educational studies and arts & history in Berlin. I met Patsie during my stay in Vienna a few years ago and we’ve been anime-buddies ever since. It is thanks to her that I continue watching anime and reading manga and I’m happy that most people in the anime & manga community have been really nice to me. Thank you, guys! Some of my favorite series are Evangelion, Soul Eater, Card Captor Sakura, Inuyasha, Sailor Moon, the Monogatari series and Bungo Stray Dogs. Not gonna lie, my taste in both anime and manga is pretty basic!

I like a lot of different genres when it comes to both anime and manga but generally, I pay a lot of attention to both the art style and the character design. I am no expert but design and aesthetics can be very important to me when watching an anime or reading manga. Of course, there’s exceptions to that and a great story and character developmet is very important to enjoying a series. For example, I enjoyed Devilman Crybaby quite a lot despite the style of animation not necessarily being ‘pretty’. Like a lot of people from Europe (or perople in general) I have started watching anime when I was very young. Back then, I was most fascinated by magical girls and fantasy anime and I still love those. My very fisrt anime was Heidi (not kidding) and after that I’ve watched Sailor Moon, Inuyasha, Cardcaptor Sakura etc. My younger brother was more into shounen anime and so I’ve also watched Digimon, YuGiOh, Pokémon, One Piece and Naruto. I’ve gotten to love all of these shows over the years and they remind me of a nice childhood. When I went to school most of my friends didn’t care for anime and manga but when I met my best friend in primary school I found someone who loved anime and manga as much as I do. We used to meet just to watch our favorite shows together. Some of them were cartoons (like Avatar the last airbender) but we also got introduced to a lot of new anime like Megaman, Shaman King, Bleach, Tokyo Meow Meow and plenty more. Actually, anime and manga got me interest in drawing and illustration again.

Being born and raised in Germany anime and manga wasn’t that popular when I was younger and it was more difficult to get access to them. I kinda forgot about anime an dmanga for a bit and focused more on drawing than actually reading manga or watching anime. I’ve always been interested in it though and whenever I met someone who knew about the shows and stories that I liked I was so happy and talked about it for what seemed like an eternity. I also want to talk about my weird fascination with horror and disturbing anime and manga. There are many other people like me who feel uncomfortable watching or reading darker stories and yet, feel drawn to them. I’ve often liked a darker scenery and creepy atmosphere when I was a teenager and I still somewhat enjoy darker, emotional manga and anime like Goodnight Punpun, Higurashi When They Cry or Deadman Wonderland. These may not be the best examples but they were the ones that came to mind when writing this blog post. Back in the days, Elfenlied was one of my favorite manga which I cannot explain since it’s so fucked up and weird. (The Gustav Klimt inspired opening of the anime might have been a reason.) Honestly, it was so much darker than the anime adaptation.

I believe that I’ve always liked the “ugly” that was portrayed in manga and shows like these because it always felt very fascinating to me. Sometimes we have dark thoughts or maybe even violent fantasies but there’s something strange about being confronted with such fantasies, visually. Some visuals make us uncomfortable but we can’t find ourselves looking away. A lot of media that involve psychological horror mangage to get our attention because of this phenomenon. Horror doesn’t just imply feelings of fear but also disgust, discomfort, uneasiness and sometimes shame.

I also seem to like characters with tragic background stories. Most of us have experienced some kind of hardship or pain and it’s easy to identify with characters who suffer from similar issues such as depression, anxiety or loneliness. When I was younger I was very shy and didn’t really talk to others much. I was very afraid of talking about the things that I liked because I often felt weird and I felt like others would look down on me for liking things that they did not. It’s an unsettling feeling that can be seen in a lot of characters from drama series. When a character’s flaws and feelings are portrayed well it’s easy to find parts of our own personalities within them and what happens to them has more meaning. Even though, we know that they are fictional characters!

Dark topics and horror can have this unique aesthetic when done right. With animation and illustration we can create worlds and give form to our fantasies. When I first read Uzumaki, I felt drawn to the weird and creepy style of the manga and looking at older Japanese horror movies, they give me this special feeling. I don’t really like it but then again, I kind of do. Horror and psychological drama in anime and manga allow us to experience these fears without being directly involved and to me, these experiences are what makes it so great. It’s the same when I create characters. I either draw them incredibly cute or incredibly creepy because it’s what appeals to me the most. The contrast between happy and tragic, appealing and ugly, is just really beautiful and something that I want to represent with my designs. There’s this strange dissonance between such traits and it’s really hard to explain. Sorry, I know that this has been a weird topic to start with but I hope that you’ve enjoyed this short analysis of my own tastes.

Thank you so much for reading!

Nina

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